How to spice up a dead sex life....with your prude wife
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- How to Spice Up a Boring Sex Life - Associated Content
This article outlines some ways to put a little spice in one's sex life.
Is your wife or partner a prude? Are you constantly being turned down for sex? If so you are probably thinking that your wife is prude. Well the truth is, your wife is more than likely not prude but rather unhappy with you or your relationship. If either of those is the case then that is the reason she is not putting out. You should communicate with her to find out exactly what is bothering her. Was it something you did? Is she just bored in the bedroom? Is she still in love with you? Does she need change? Does she feel unappreciated? Does she feel that you respect her? Or is it something that has nothing to do with you at all and is an issue she has personally with herself? If a woman is not comfortable in her own skin or is feeling unattractive or insecure about herself, more than likely she will not be in the mood for sex.
You need to make sure that she knows you are still in love with her and that you still think she is incredibly sexy. That you only want her and that nobody can make you feel the way she does. Relationships can start feeling like a routine after time if you let them. Just because you give her a quick kiss on the way out the door before work and say "love ya" doesnt mean that she really knows how much you truly adore her. You need to show her you love her with your actions as well as words.
Make her feel sexy and appreciated. Cook her favorite meal and have a nice relaxing dinner. Rub her feet after work or give her a massage. Compliment her. Tell her she looks hot in that dress or how great her legs look. Tell her you love the way her hair smells. Notice things about her that you usually dont. Did she get a new purse or haircut? Tell her it looks great. Be romantic and draw her a bath with rose petals and candles. Take her on a romantic vacation that is just the two of you. Get to know eachother again. Do not be selfish in the bedroom. She likes oral sex also. If not then you arent doing it right. Instead of always wanting her to go down on you, surprise her with the opposite and be satisfied just knowing you pleasured her. Dont expect anything in return.
If you explain to her what you like and go slow and do not scare her away with all of your secret freak tendencies all at once she might slowly be okay with it. Express your wants and needs with her.
Be sweet to her and show her that you love and desire her. Make her heart melt and she will want to be intimate with you.
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I'll keep this in mind for good measure. But so far..it's been smooth sailing :D
Good advise, just remember that it is a 2 way street and he shouldn't be the only one working to make it better.
Relationships take a lot of tender care and constant feeding.
Uhm, hi ashley. where do I begin? I still got a bunch of freak tendencies in the closet, how much longer should I wait to bring them out, or would you recommend in my case to always keep them there?
Yeah, when the hell does she start rubbing my goddam feet to get sex? #^W% that. Go find someone who doesn't insist on all sorts of chores before giving it up.
great hub. greater ideas. greatest tips. thks ashley
...freak tendencies...? lol
HOW freakish?
...freak tendencies...? lol
HOW freakish?
I've done all that stuff and then some. Nothing works. Guess I'm screwed. No pun intended.
Why the F%%$ do I have to clean the house, rub her back, etc. To have sex?
B.S.
I've tried this going on 3 years now. So far all that's happened is I'm still the only one bringing the cash into the house, but I also make all the meals on the weekends, pack the kids school lunches, make dinner 2 week nights, clean the bathrooms and vacuum the upstairs. I do about 30% of the laundry, and all the lawn care.
She still can't find 2 minutes to put on a bit of lingerie once in a blue moon.
I am beginning to believe that my wife has simply decided to be a prude and I have two choices. Accept that I will have a miserable non exsitant sex life or leave her. With the resentment from her lack of attention to my needs no matter how much I do for her and her needs. The obvious answer is leave her.
Oooo! There are a bunch of us caught like jster, Doug K, turducken.
Borsia, of course you are right. The age-old 'two way street' comment is a truism which presumably everyone will say yes to---but will this be reflected in actions between the couple? I, too, am frustrated. Patience gets to be s-t-r-u-n-g 0-- u - t. How can sexual interest be re-kindled in a partner who is too content without intimate episodes?
I always marvel at couples who have lost intimacy and can't seem to get it back. I feel really bad, especially for the one that wants it but can't get it. Excruciating! My feeling is that there is a HUGE difference between having a spouse and having a roommate. If you wanted a roommate, you wouldn't have gotten married...and you sure as hell wouldn't have to rub their feet! I do not believe one partner should have to work harder than the other at keeping the marriage alive. Marriage is a partnership. It should be 50/50. And it should not include manipulation and withholding of emotional and physical intimacy because someone didn't do their fair share of the vacuuming. Quite frankly, barring some medical complication, if you still love your spouse, why the heck wouldn't you want to experience a great sex life with them? Without the sex, you're nothing more than good friends...if you're even that anymore.
Best of luck to everyone trying to work through something this complicated. I hope it all works out the way you hope it does.
Been there and done all that. She's still prude. To her sex is a 'reward' for doing nice things. BS I have had many lovers (mostly wives) during my 20 year marriage and it was all about the sex, no need to wine and dine them. Mine just wanted it to have kids, now it's not happening.
What if she really is a prude? She tells you it's not about you, she is just not interested in sex. She will give me sex if I beg, but she just wants me to hurry up and get it over with. If I ask for sex 3 times in a month, she says, "is that all you think about?" I'm 44 and we've been married 18 years. During counseling I was told her sex drive would pick up at 30, then at 35, then at 40. So I would hold on, hoping things would eventually get better. It never has. We are 43 and 44. In a few years we will be empty nesters. I've often thought about leaving, but at this point, does it even matter any more. I could leave, and end up alone. No guarantees in life.
What a bunch of useless crap.
I have tried all of these things consitently,Not much change. She can't understand why I can't be happy with the same thing over and over.
my wife is certainly a prude, and some days , more often than not, i am really damned sorry i married her. sure we have kids whom i wouldn't ever go back and change the past, or the fact i married her, but dammit im so frustrated and resentful with her i don't know if i can ever even be a friend to her, except in some cordial way. Sex for her is 'hurry up', and 'no, idon't wanna do that, dont' touch me there, its dirty' the only answer for me is to leave her or cheat on her
I need sex tips. email me at noellemcfarland@sbcglobal.net
I :
Exercise
Play with the kids
Clean the house (vacuum, dishes, tidy, etc)
Do all the laundry
Drop off the kids
Pick up the kids
Cook 7 great suppers a week
Read the kids bedtime stories
Tell her she is beautiful
Rub her back
Rub her feet
Kiss her goodbye and hello
Find time to hug her
Put her through school
Pay her tuition
Earn the money (she has no job)
Sit her down and ask if everything is ok
Right now I feel used and cheap.
I need to just stop everything.
Be the jerk.
And get the sex . . .wherever
I'm in the same boat as sleeping alone above. I DO ALL THE STUFF DESCRIBED IN THIS ARTICLE AND THEN SOME. I'm getting very angry, upset, and frustrated. I'm drifting ever so slowly toward cheating and I hate myself for it. BUT I NEED SOME GENUINE AFFECTION AND ACTION. HELP ME PLEASE SOMEONE!
dejavu 3 years ago
Thank you Ash...this does help